The answer to your first question (assuming you have a traditional IRA) is a firm Yes. Only yours–since you’re the one who is 72–is involved in the RMD this year. It’s your income, and the fact that you file a joint return (as my wife and I do as well–I’m 80, she’s 70–so it’s only my IRA that is figured in so far)…the fact that it’s a joint return doesn’t affect whose IRA is involved.
I have no experience with Roth conversion, so can’t speak to that.
mathetes