One year in, and there is one very unhappy US couple in France
The bad planning in this case - picturing their retirement location as idyllic, and then discovering, it isn’t actually what they expected.
Quite a few reasons given - but more than a few of their own making e.g. very few friends. But wife says, “don’t want to hang out with expats, because that’s not why we came here”
On the food,
“People go, ‘Oh my god, the French food is so fabulous,’” she says. “Yeah, if you want to eat brie, pâté, pastries and French bread all day long,” she says. “But who eats like that?”
I just came from reading this. Coincidence. Unbelievable at their age.
They must have incredible amounts of money to think so little about all that uprooting. They look more like a couple of frivolous 21 yr olds with all the concomitant wisdom and forethought you’d expect.
Perhaps the next story they will be featured in will be: "Couple in their 70’s left penniless."
At least from the article, it seems the husband is making an effort e.g. learning the language. Exactly how does the wife expect to make friends if she don’t seem to want to put any effort into learning the language, or hanging out with expats (who could help ease the transition with friends/language)?
Good point. It’s one thing to want to uproot and go to some exotic place in old age. Go out with a bang or whatever you want to call it. But why not go to a place that is conducive to that sort of thing. They almost certainly have a a well known ex-pat community to meet you half way. As far as learning the language… seems like something you’d want to do before you go there. I’m trying to re-up my decades-ago Spanish and it’s not as easy as I was expecting. And I’m not quite 70 yet
I’ve observed something many times over the years. When you run away from something, your success rate is lower than when you run towards something. Running away from the USA due to “politics” is absurd. Because someday you will realize that there is “politics” everywhere, sometimes in the form of massive bureaucracy.
Maybe a slightly narrow viewpoint? Very doubtful that the French have only these foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Very doubtful that when they do have these foods that they have them every day.
Tell that to the Jews who left in 1933. Explain how that’s a bad idea to trhe Venezuelans fleeing that country right now. Sometimes politics is exactly the reason you leave. It’s true that someday “this too shall pass”, but sometimes that’s not in your lifetime, or your children’s lifetimes, or their children’s lifetimes.
I, too, came back from the dream of being an expat in Costa Rica.
Everything was 3 times as difficult compared to my home city, Portland,
Oregon. Being an outgoing loner, I found PDX to provide much more of what I seek: dancing, biking/bike clubs, hiking/hike clubs, medicare advantage benefits(shut up intercst!), organic foods/vegeatables, friends . . .
Oh, I have many Costa Rican friends
and I am fluent in Spanish.
I grew up in Latin speaking countries. Grandfather was Ambassador to Costa Rica for 8 years circa 1928. I do have very few gringo expat friends down there. Not my type of people*. I am pure Gringo by the way. Father from Missouri and mother from Indiana.
And, yes, the food in Costa Rica, was tiring. Definitely very few healthy vegetarian/organic choices.
I agree about the French food(I was just there), the baguettes tasted great but how much bread can you eat before your heart blows up? And duck snails. And pommes frit means french fries! In every dish! There is no law about smoking outside restaurants–(Anywhere in Europe).
Let those speak up that are living overseas. respectfully
I have changed my focus to
Adventure Tourism, ebike and boat/bike tours to be exact. Hopefully my TSLA stock holding will pay for next year’s tours. . .
*In all fairness–at least in the case of Costa Rica–the B-type personality there is best adapted to becoming an expat: living in a village on the end of a dirt road, walking to the market with a basket under your arm, owning 5 dogs and 3 cats. . . .serious . . . .
I am less suited: A-type, adrenalin junky, with ADHD. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
My sister and brother in law just toured England and Ireland on bike. They really enjoyed it. They had a company bring all their luggage from stop to stop so it was very easy.
I think this is a goid reason to do an extended visit at a new location before you move. At least a month. Or even rent a place for a while before you move.
Some places are much more receptive to welcoming new arrivals. Florida is well known for being welcoming. Military families are used to being moved and are welcoming.
They tell of other places where community is very intermarried. Unless you have family connections you are an outsider.
It helps to have friends or family in the area to help you get accepted. But it does depend on your personality and willingness to adapt.
For many better to stay where you are where you have accumulated those connections over years. Replicating that can be difficult. Moving requires effort and commitment. Not for everyone.
I’m one of them (well, the descendant of), and trust me, very few ran away because of politics, they ran away because there were actual discriminatory laws and/or policies, official or not, enacted. In my particular case, my grandfather ran away because he had a relatively minor business dispute with a trading partner and the trading partner credibly threatened to kill him. When the local constable was informed about the credible threat, he said “I will not do anything to help you Jew. I will let him kill you.”. So my grandfather ran away and crossed into an adjoining country. He was there a few weeks, and via letters to and from his mother (his father died fighting in WWI), he was informed that the guy was still angry enough to kill him. Some more week went by, and apparently it got even worse as the guy simply took over my grandfather’s business and nobody in authority did a thing to prevent it. Finally, my grandfather, being in that adjoining country illegally, gave up and moved elsewhere. A few years later almost everyone in his family that remained in Germany were gassed and cremated.
And, you’re playing into the “literal hitler” concept, and that’s pretty offensive to most normal people. If everything you disapprove of is “literal hitler”, then nothing is literal hitler.
Interesting experience highlighted in that article by the couple - perhaps ladened with some incorrect expectations before they even made the move.
Having lived and worked overseas, language is the major key to being able to adapt, build relationships, and deal with any bureaucracy. I mean language is HUGE! However, even if the language is mastered to an acceptable level, it is difficult to build and maintain friendships with the locals. The “investment” for a local to build a friendship with a foreigner is nearly always met with some level of trepidation because the local never knows how long the foreigner is going to be there. So they ask themselves - why should we invest? We feel fortunate to have built some lasting relationships in the country where we lived and worked. We would feel comfortable retiring in the part of Europe where we lived and worked, as well as built relationships.
That being said, it would be filled with challenges. Even if a couple moved to a different part of the US to retire, there would be a lot of challenges to build relationships in the new location, adapt to the way of life in the new area, and adjust to the cultural differences compared to where they used to live. However, there would not be a language barrier.
I guess I am not surprised that their hope for a dream retirement life in France is ending in the way that the article depicts.
Meanwhile, the small village of Ollolai in Sardinia is offering to accept Americans upset with the election results to find inexpensive housing and move to the island in Italy…
Brits are famous for being stand-offish about accepting new friends. They say its “old school ties” but I wonder how much is family and long standing relationships. New connections are not highly valued.
(How do I know you are of good character unless you’re formally introduced by someone I know and trust? At least a letter of introduction.)
