How do you like your crime? Film at 11!

So they get cleverer - right up until they don’t.

#1 Guy goes into the store, takes up position with a couple of manikins and … pretends to be a manikin himself. (If you’ve ever seen the performance artists in Times Square you know this is entirely possible.) Employees close the store, he’s in, roams the place stealing anything he wants without any pushback.

Oops. He’s also on CCTV for the entire episode. Bang, slammer.

#2 Chic-Fil-A found a way to goose sales last year by offering free delivery. What they didn’t say is that the free delivery was accompanied by higher menu prices, but only if you were getting “free delivery”. Surprisingly, the total price came out the same, even though people thought they were ordering from the same menu as everybody else.

Fines: $4.4m, ho hum, nobody in the Clever Suite goes to jail.

#3 A car thief in Manchester UK was spotted breaking into a car. By the time police got there he had disappeared. Into a giant teddy bear that was in the back seat. While looking around one of the Bobbies noticed the bear seemed to be breathing. He’s moved from inside the bear to a cell.

#4 A Florida man bought his way into Disney World and proceeded to boost a $10,000 replica of R2D2 from one of the hotels along with some other valuable Disney items. He had applied for a position as a Security Guard, intending to show Disney what a great employee he would be and how vulnerable they were. He was caught when a Disney World employee spotted him pushing a shopping cart with R2D2 across the mall.

David Proudfoot got the idea a few years ago when he walked off with $15,000 worth of equipment in the school where was Superintendent. But he sort of lost that job and a bit of free time when they caught him, so he thought “Security Guard” would be a good career transition.

And last, #5: An American tourist wanted to see the Pope but was told he couldn’t. So he charged and broke two 2,000 year old Vatican artifacts in a fit of pique. He was, um, detained.

And that’s it for the Saturday night roundup. Tune in again next week for the latest smash & grab news.


Number 4

Has anyone else noticed that when a college student tells you he is a “criminal science major” he might be learning not to get caught by the police?

1 Like

Seeing as 4 of the 5 articles are more than a year old, seems kind of tough to call them the “latest” news. :grinning: Still funny, though.

Oh, Chick-fil-a isn’t the only one marking up prices. Pretty much everything on Door Dash is higher priced for delivery than for pickup at the restaurant.