If I die before Brother in assisted living...?

Well, I finally have a little breather and thought I better update my Will and mostly make arrangements for my brother in assisted living. For those of you who don’t remember, my brother is 68, had a car accident when he was in his late 20’s. Head injury. My parents took care of him for years until my father died, and then my mother took care of him for years. My mother died and then I finally found an assisted living place to take him and he is doing reasonably well there. He has been there a little over 2 years. It took him about 2 years to run through any inheritance he got when my mom passed. The facility helped me apply him for Medicaid, so now, Medicaid pays his bill there, and I add a few funds from his SS check and an annuity settlement check he gets every month from a legal settlement from the accident.

So, I am his only sibling. All of our cousins are older than us - in their 70’s mostly. So, I make sure his bills are paid, medications, clothing, etc. I make any medical decisions for his care. I have POA, and deal with his bank account and anything else. I am the only one who does it - there is no one else. So, I am trying to figure out what “arrangements” I should make for the possibility of if I die before him. Since there are no younger relatives, I would like to perhaps turn him over to the assisted living place directly - perhaps making him a ward of the state then?

Anyway, looking for advice. What legal arrangements have some of you made if you die before the person you are caring for dies? I would like something simple, perhaps a notarized letter stating my wishes for him, if I die first? Not sure I need an attorney for something so simple. Or maybe just an attorney to draft a letter or something? And then it would be attached to my own Will?

A side note, I am not leaving anything to him in my Will, as he is already on Medicaid, and it just doesn’t make sense, I think. Thanks for your advice.


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My first thought is to ask the facility he is in. I’m sure they’ve seen that sort of thing before. They could probably point you in the right direction. He might end up being a ward of the state.


Talk to the facility. They probably have a lot of residents that they are responsible for. I know that’s the case in my mom’s nursing home.

You might also want to consult with a separate eldercare consultant. I know when I talked to one way back about my mom, she mentioned that she had POA, etc and took care of purchases, money, etc for a lot of people without families. She is not an atty but is affiliated with an atty’s office that specializes in eldercare issues. It might not be a bad idea to have someone OUTSIDE the facility responsible for things like that; ideally they would check in with your bro from time to time to make sure everything is ok and the facility is doing right by him. It might be a great facility now, but ownership and management can change, possibly creating issues.