last wishes

Wondering how folks here would deal with this. I think we broached the subject a few years ago. Not sure.

1poorMIL has no estate. She lives with us, has a small SSI, and Medicaid. No assets.

We were wondering how best to document her last wishes. As 1poorlady says, she doesn’t want to make the calls for DNR, cremation, or whatever. It would be best to get 1poorMIL’s wishes in writing, and official.

Seems kind of a waste to get a trust attorney involved. There wouldn’t be a trust. Just a living will, and a regular will. No assets to disperse, no probate, nada. I know there are boilerplate documents online, but I wonder how official they actually are.

My experience is with our trust, so I know that route reasonably well. But she doesn’t need that.



I’d get in touch with AARP. I’m sure they know how to handle this in a simply way, including which standardized form(s) have authority.


simple way, not simply way. Sorry!


One of my friends refuses to see an attorney for a will. Just won’t do it. He will however walk through the process using an online service.

We started through with Willmaker. It has forms for advanced directive and POA.


I would think that a will and a living will would cover the bases. And I see no reason that a good DIY source would be an less effective than using a lawyer. A bad DIY source is likely as bad as a bad lawyer. So it still takes a bit of checking into any resources.

The most important thing is talking with MIL to find out what her wishes are. And that’s not always an easy thing to do.

When my wife’s condition deteriorated, all I had to do was say “no intubation” and “please cremate her remains”. No one asked for any documentation or authority. Of course, the relationship was different - spouse vs adult child for you. That might make a difference.


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AARP seemed to do it, at least for advanced directives. Thanks. It’s DIY, but many pages. I will have to read it all (e.g. either a witness unrelated to her, or a notary, is required).

But this should get us where we need to go. Thanks.


You might talk to a social worker in your area.
Sometimes a help - sometimes not.



Glad AARP is helpful.


a written will with 2 witness will do the trick in texas and just to be sure notarized. but my sisters will was not and they accepted it.

a written will with 2 witness will do the trick in texas and just to be sure notarized. but my sisters will was not and they accepted it.

Two thoughts:

1.) Is MIL competent to execute such a document? Likely this in not important, as not much money is involved, and there seems to be no religious fanatics involved.

2.) Chances are her OFH has someone competent to notarize whatever she can write in her own handwriting. Maybe even something she can just sign in her own handwriting.