Wow!!! You’ve stirred such a mix of emotions! How wonderful that you were able to provide such emotional, logistical, practical, and physical support for your dad. But how profoundly painful that covid prevented you from taking your first step in healing, which is the ritual good-bye shared with family, and feeling their support for you. And now, I’m so glad you recognize how important it is to share your loss, your grief, and your anger—and to have peope UNDERSTAND what you’re feeling.
In addition to being able to do that here, to the extent that one can, I’d also consider something in addition—and that is a support group for those who are dealing with loss. Ideal would be a group who have lost a loved one to cancer. I don’t know if there’s a Gilda’s Club in your area. If there is, then check that out. And google to see what you can find in your part of the world. So many support groups meet via zoom these days, and it’s really a blessing. I’m in a caregivers support group at my local Gilda’s Club (now called Red Door Community, as they recently went their independent way), and it’s invaluable. One of our former members is now in a Loss group, and she recently told me that it’s been an amazing experience.
Good luck on your journey of healing—a lot more complicated than it should have been. And thank you for your kind comments!
(((holhealthprac)))
=sheila