His testosterone plummeted a few years ago. AFAIK he hasn’t had an erection in a long time.
Pleasurable sensations and erectile capability aren’t synonymous. And it’s also an intimate, nonverbal, very tactile way of expressing affection. And perhaps it would communicate something of value to him. And to you. Worth trying.
In somewhat of another direction, I’ve been wondering if you’ve consulted with a urologist about his prostate and his pee frequency. I can’t recall.
=sheila
He takes finasteride.
Ew.
Really. He already unzips in public (and if I’m not attentive, whips it out-) when he needs to pee. What if he gets the idea to play with himself in public? Maybe that’s how dirty old men were created :-/
I do touch him almost all over with affection and use a gentle, appealing voice. Does not usually help convince him to let me use a wet washcloth on him. He’s actually more resistant to getting his face washed than anything else.
For those shampoos, how about a start with a scalp massage? Who doesn’t like those? It’s the best part of going to the hairdresser IMO.
IP
For those shampoos, how about a start with a scalp massage? Who doesn’t like those?
Good idea, but he doesn’t. He loves hand-holding and hugging, though. And the way I get him to wash his hands is lather mine up and then wash his between my hands, then he rinses and dries.
ASIDE
boohoo, DD & GF are leaving this morning. They have a booth at a gaming convention at the end of this month and many crafts to make specifically for this audience. They weren’t just on vacay or helping me, they’ve been shopping at thrift stores, flea markets, and from private buyers in FL and here in SC for items to resell. Their car is full! DS helped me with the hubster, opened 2 jars I couldn’t, fixed a few things, and helped me get some stuff out of a closet and back into the kitchen cabinets (that were refaced last summer).
I do touch him almost all over with affection and use a gentle, appealing voice.
Exactly, and I think that fits Sheila’s description of sensual, pleasurable interactions.
If 1poorguy meant more than that by his suggestion of “sexual,” to that I say no thanks.
Meanwhile, I thought I remembered he’s taking prostate meds, that’s why I mentioned them. As far as following up with the urologist:
If/when your DH gets to the point that he doesn’t feel the urge to pee, just goes without realizing it, that’ll be easier because he can just be in Depends all the time and won’t be unzipping and/or using wastebaskets. Maybe the urologist has something that can accelerate to that stage?
What’s “eww”? It’s her husband. She already tricks him into washing his hands. “Distract” him with some stroking just long enough to wash whatever needs to be washed (e.g. face, groin, butt, “pits”). Don’t have to take it to completion (that would just create another mess to clean up).
Curious (and completely none of my business), but she said he hasn’t had an erection in years. Even when he sleeps? Erections work by the relaxing of a muscle that constricts blood flow. When it relaxes, blood flows (and fills). Almost all men experience a relaxing of this muscle while sleeping (which is why we often wake up with erections). If he’s not experiencing that, something is wrong. Though I’m not a urologist, and wouldn’t want to speculate further.
1poorguy
"Curious (and completely none of my business), but she said he hasn’t had an erection in years. Even when he sleeps? Erections work by the relaxing of a muscle that constricts blood flow. When it relaxes, blood flows (and fills). Almost all men experience a relaxing of this muscle while sleeping (which is why we often wake up with erections). If he’s not experiencing that, something is wrong. Though I’m not a urologist, and wouldn’t want to speculate further.
1poorguy"
Just in passing, if a person is experiencing severe swelling - and the Flomax med is used to
treat that type of thing - the ability to get an erection while sleeping would be doubtful.
The swelling problems tend to cause pain and expansion of all the lower extremities to the
point where blood flow would be severely restricted to any one area. The cell membranes seem to
basically expand to the point where relaxation is not possible.
Howie52
Not a fun experience but not all that unusual. Doesn’t seem as if this issue is one that their
family is dealing with - but as is the case with a lot of aliments, individuals do tend to
have quite specific problems caused by quite specific causes.