(Update to Email 101)
So a few days ago, after reading everything I could find on email file locations, I restored several backed-up folders that had anything to do with emails and user files.
Results: < NOTHING. STILL NO ADDRESS BOOK, ONLY 1 OF 5 EMAIL ACCOUNTS SHOWN, CAN NOT SEND EMAILS >
Today when I opened Thunderbird, all 5 accounts showed up, along with 3 address books (didn’t even know I had more than 1.)
I have no idea why my pc decided to play nice again, or where the files actually are, but I’m grateful. I could almost be sorry I called it so many terrible names. Almost. At least I resisted the urge to throw it out my second-story office window.
My files still have none of the names listed in anything I’ve read about T-bird. Beyond weird. Maybe they don’t exist and my pc just “knows.” 
Now if Windows would just leave the files the #!/&@# alone, I’d be a happy camper. I know, that’s asking way too much.
Now I’m afraid to close T-Bird in case they disappear again.
… for now