And perhaps this is not just for him, but for you too, despite the incredible physical and emotional stresses. You said something recently that expressed a very different feeling tha you normally talk about. Usually, you describe your frustrations, exhaustion, restrictions, worries, anxieties. But recently you referred to very profound emotions—the first night that he was wearing diapers in bed next to you. And you cried, recognizing that you’d never have the future together you had always imagined, and that your beloved husband was disappearing before your eyes. I was in tears, reading that. And I realized that these emotions are part of your burden, a part that you don’t normally talk about.
I could list more such…like when the neurologist first said he had advanced dementia, and I thought he was still in the mid-game. And when he said the hubster qualified for hospice, which I associate with near-death. My aide had come come with us and saw me tear up. She took over the dr conversation briefly so I could get under control and afterwards gave me a hug. I cried the first time he acted crazy (keppra). I tear up when used to occasionally try to get out of a locked door. When we were on a walk and he wanted to go back before we even got to the end of the driveway, Or didn’t want to come back.
He’s dozing in his recliner. I guess he’ll only have 2 meals today. I’ll give him yogurt if he wakes with at least 2 hrs before dinner.
He hasn’t peed since he got out of bed (AFAIK), although I did take him to the bathroom after lunch (nuh-uh). I wonder if he’s transitioning to peeing in his Depends like he is to poo-ing in them.
Things to look forward to:
- DD, SIL, grandkids coming last week of June/first week of July
–DS & GF coming in July - Big bro, niece, and her eldest child coming in July