Alstro — how has handling hubster been these days? Was he affected in any way by the departure of DS and GF? Any new challenges? When there’s extended silence from you, I never know if I should worry, or if it simply means that things have been going really smoothly (relatively speaking), and you’ve been busy taking advantage of that! Hope this is the latter.
=sheila
how has handling hubster been these days?
OK.
Was he affected in any way by the departure of DS and GF?
Not so far as I can tell. He’s sleeping a little better–so I am, too–probably because I gave him fun things to drink with dinner while they were here (sparking water w/juice, kombucha)–also dinner 5:30/6 instead of 4/4:30…which had him peeing more in the night.
I’m affected by the lack of their company and help 
Any new challenges? When there’s extended silence from you, I never know if I should worry, or if it simply means that things have been going really smoothly (relatively speaking), and you’ve been busy taking advantage of that! Hope this is the latter.
Days without him napping are challenging. I miss my aide taking him off premises. He seems to nap half the time she’s here <grr!>. I’ve had some appts of my own. I’ve been switching them to Mondays and Tuesdays when my aide can be here. Gettin him to shower/change clothes remains a chore. Peeing the same–some splashes on the bathroom floor and one batch in the bathroom waste basket, which was half full of kleenex, q-tips, packaging from new items.
Playing phone tag with county service.
I moved a low potassium diet discussion to the Health and Nutrition board. Here’s my last post there:
OK, had my video chat with the dr.
Request to change BP med to something that won’t raise K and isn’t a diuretic–>she switched him to a calcium channel blocker, Amlodipine (said it might cause temporary leg swelling)
Concern about his dehydration–>give him more of whatever he likes to drink (but I say only early in the day as he gets me up at night to pee 2-3x already-)
Request for consultation w/a nutritionist to help w/low K diet–>don’t stress about it. Keep giving him fiber foods–even prune juice. Hopefully the switch to Amlodipine and better hydration will reduce potassium (and sodium)
Re supplements–>don’t bother with them as he’s late stage dementia 
Request for PT and/or OT–>she will arrange, asked if home or elsewhere preferred, I decided on home as it can be hard to get him to leave the house in time for appointments lately. Additional benefit is they check his BP whenever they come!
She asked me to make an appt for him in her office in a month to see how he’s doing.
He’s napping intermittently this morning. Maybe becasue we got up at 5:30. It wasn’t bad as he only woke me twice to pee in the night and I was able to get back to sleep quickly both times, so probably got 7-8 hrs for a change.
btw, dr agrees that he’s doing better at home than he would in a facility.
Goal for today–if I can;t get him to shower, maybe I can get him to the barber for a hair wash.
Ideally I’d have aide help 3 mornings/week. (OK, real ideal would be having someone do his showering, dressing/undressing, and take him elsewhere for a couple of hours a day–a girl can dream!)
about the aide help…
When he’s cooperative, I don’t mind a bit dressing/undressing him. But the cajoling/physically struggling over it is the pits. I give up quickly. Last shower was Monday w/aide.
I’d be much happier if she came M & Th or M & F instead of M & Tu. But she has a client from 9-3 W/Th/F (who pays $25/hr instead of my $20–I’m sure she’ll be asking for $25 soon).
WIll shower him or at least wash & dress him now.
Well, whadya know! He took a shower with little static! 'course he still had one sock on, but whatevs–I washed his hair, pits, bum, and most of the rest (not feet or face).
Confused by toothbrushing so I ended up doing it–badly, but got maybe 2/3 of teeth surfaces and got him to use mouthwash. Wouldn’t shave or let me shave him. Maybe take him to the barber for a shave when we’ve recovered from our ordeal He was very cooperative dressing.
I’m treating myself to one of his blueberry yogurts for breakfast (too lazy to fix eggs or even brie on toast). He already had peanut butter on toast & applesauce much earlier.
I’m so glad the doc let me off the hook low-potassium-wise. Broccoli and tomatoes are back on the menu, boys!
VERY glad to hear from you!
And it’s so good to hear that his behavior and responses have been—at least for now—more cooperative, less disruptive. 
And sensible response from the doc about meds, diet, etc. Amlodipine is actually one of the BP meds my husband takes. Irbasartan is the other one—low dose of each.
I’m puzzled, though, why she wasn’t the one to begin with to say—let’s change his BP med to one that doesn’t raise his potassium. But at least she responded properly when you raised it.
I wish your very part-time aide had some available hours that you could tempt her to give to you. And I’d pay her $25 to match her other client. I wonder if your local Alzheimers Association chapter would have a list of good aides who might have time available. I realize that anyone new would initially be a stranger for hubster, but it’s just a matter of time till he becomes used to her (or him).
I get the impression that you weren’t quite prepared to hear the doc say that he’s late-stage dementia. But maybe you were just expressing your sadness at what you’re already aware of.
Any luck with the barber and a shampoo and shave?
=sheila
Good luck continues! He was affectionate in the car after the shower (winking at me, kissing me, patting me), and very good at the barber shop More or less cooperated with a shave, with me standing by rubbing his shoulder, speaking in soothing tones, and kind of holding his head back. He LOVED the hot wet cloth on his face (ahhh). Another customer overhead us and it turns out paid for his shave (normally $30). I gave the lady barber $10. I may have to do this once every week or two. Still might need the hairwashing sometimes–can;t count on such a good day every time.
He’s so cheerful and well behaved today, I may try a neighborhood walk after lunch.
Dr did change his med to a diuretic BP drug, but I don’t want him to take a diuretic–he pees plenty often and doesn’t drink enough.
Wouldn’t shave or let me shave him.
I trust you’ve switched to electric shavers at this point? Way easier and safer than razor blades. I use an electric on my son. Does a good enough job. Granted, my son and your hubster have significantly different mental states. But I feel safe enough with the electric to hand it to him and let him shave himself. (If you can call what he is capable of doing shaving.)
–Peter
When he started cutting himself often (2 years ago? 3 years?), I bought him a Norelco. He’s been doing a lousy job lately so I just bought new blades. Didn’t make a difference. He seems to have too little patience for it, at least the past few days. He lets me do it sometimes, but not this morning. But he showered right after, so I am content.
Insurance won’t pay for 4, 2.5mg olanzapine (anti-psychotic)/day, just 3. I’ve been giving him 1 after breakfast, 1 after lunch, and 2 after dinner. I decided to skip today’s lhnch pill for the first time. Yup, he’s crazier. Arranging/rearranging his lap blanket on the floor, taking off & putting on his pants & shoes repeatedly, stuffing his shoes down the pant legs.
I just stopped him from peeing into the den bookcase onto books and display items. I dragged him forcibly against his will to the bathroom, but he did pee in the toilet once he arrived. Meanwhile he put his jeans on the kitchen counter next to the sink(?!). I just brought hm some lounge pants. He put them on himself.
Stupid insurance drones. I tried giving him an olanzapine, but he won’t take it now. Not trying this again. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try 1 evening pill instead.
You could use a depilatory. They do make them for men’s beards. I haven’t used them myself, but I know they’re out there.
1pg
…she switched him to a calcium channel blocker, Amlodipine (said it might cause temporary leg swelling)
I don’t remember the name of the pill, but Mom had side effects of coughing with Ca channel blockers. FWIW.
IP,
no longer going to the health and nutrition board
You could use a depilatory. They do make them for men’s beards. I haven’t used them myself, but I know they’re out there.
Please do not use this on someone who cannot communicate. It can burn the skin if left on too long, and too long depends on the person. I cannot use them at all. Can’t leave it on long enough to remove the hair.
IP
You could use a depilatory.
Thx for the thought, but, uh, no, I can’t imagine him sitting still for me smearing smelly, sticky cream (consistency of elmer’s glue) on his face & neck. I know coz I used to use Nair(?) before vacays so no shaving on vacation–you need to leave it on a while (15 minutes? half an hour?) It’s been ages so I forget–than wipe it & the hair off–then shower–no way could this happen! It was hard enough keeping him still in the barber chair for his shave yesterday.
Mom had side effects of coughing with Ca channel blockers. FWIW.
I’ll know soon enough. Or maybe not. He refused to take this strange new pill this morning, and its presence made it harder for him to decide to take his sertraline & olanzapine. His previous BP pills were oval and green. Amlodipine is round and white.
But it’s hard to feel distressed about it coz his shaved face is still smooth and he showered yesterday 
and only a few drops by the toilet from his last several pees.