It's been swell!

Pop-up from The Motley Fool:
Non-financial boards are closing soon.
We will be closing non-financial boards in the near future. Once closed, these boards will continue to be accessible in read-only form. If you’re disappointed, we understand. Thank you for being an active participant in this community. We have more community features in development that we look forward to sharing soon.

Many thanks again to everyone here, especially Sheila, and best of luck to all! I’ll miss you!



I’m not taking this lying down. I’ve posted on Improve The Fool here:…

Feel free to add your own comments to that thread.



Yikes. I will especially miss the posts and people on this board :frowning:

Having ups & downs w/the hubster, but he’s definietly going downhill. Running experiments with psychoactive meds. He’s usually sleeping better, a big plus for me. Depakote is also an anti-seizure med. He didn’t have his every-5-weeks seizure, so it seems to be working even though I’m not yet all the way up to full dose.

I occasionally have to feed him now. I did last night’s dinner–cut up marinated lamb chops and steamed broccoli. He enjoyed it, but coudln;t seem to figure out or motivate himself to use his fork. I gave him a snack of tortilla chips with guacamole and salsa the other day–I think he couldn’t figure out how to eat that either. It took him a minute to figure out how to eat toasted sourdough bread with tomato and melted cheese (mini-pizza?) for lunch. I served veggie sticks w/tahini dip on the side as a switch from salad–he wouldn’t touch it. He never has trouble eating salad, eggs in any form, hot or cold cereal, burger/chicken sandwich/veggie burger. Most likely to have trouble with mixed-together food (souup, casseroile, “bowl,” and sometimes meat & cooked veg like last night–alsthough he ate lamb chop & green beans the previous night). He always lets me feed him when he won;t/can;t eat himself, and is very cooperative. Is eating a wee bit less these days. Also I can’t get him to take any of his gummy vites other than occasionally the multi. In particular, spits out the fish oil gummy and K2+D3 gummy. They taste fine, so it’s not that.

Had some poo in his Depends for the first time yesterday. He also put the toilet paper from wiping after the toileted poo into the Depends(?!). Luckily he;s usually OK with me washing his bum every morning (aside from 2 showers a week, which the aides usually do now–one is on vacay this week so I will have to shower him tomorrow).

For the first time yesterday, he was uncooperative with my shaving him. Never got his chin & neck done(!). On rare occasions he’s uncooperative with getting his hands, face, armpits, bottom washed. I get a lot of exercise getting him dressed/undressed(!) as even when cooperative, there’s a lot of bending, pulling, etc. I always leave him to button his own shirt–keeps him busy for 20, 30 minutes so I can shower(!) in case he didn’t take an after-breakfast nap (when I usually prefer to shower).

With aides ~12 hours/week, I have time to visit Mom every week, which pleases her. And I how have time to take a long, brisk walk twice a week while leaving the hubster with an aide. However, I’ve stopped bringing my brother dinner every weekend. His aide provides all his food so it was just extra, and DH needs to get undressed for bed right after dinner or he might fall asleep in his clothes in his chair before I get that done. That’s when I used to bring bro his dinner, sometimes leaving the hubster home alone (for 20-30 minutes) if he didn’t want to come. I’m worried now he’ll fall asleep in the car and not want to get up. And I don’t leave him hime alone longer than it takes me to deal with the garbage, get the mail, or water my herbs.


He drinks at most half his morning cup of coffee & cream, and I have to remove it pretty promptly or I get what just happened or something similar. He deliberately poured it all onto the table between our recliners, flooding the table, wetting the floor, kleenex box, coasters, the pillow I use to elevate my formerly broken leg (which still swells and has nerve/muscle/scar tissue/thin, very sensitive skin over ankle bone problems), my laptop case, and splashing my open laptop’s screen and keyboard. grrr. I smacked him as hard as I could on the forearm. Probably leave a mark. grrr. I had just told him to put it down, and he had. Then picked it back up when my attention was on my computer, where I was selecting a podcast to listen to. I REALLy want to shower, but he’s wide awake and clearly in a mischievous mood. Cleaning ladies supposed to come at 10 and neither of us dressed yet.

WEll, just to end on a better note, I showered anyway (when I came out he was trying to plug in my computer-). I got him washed up & dressed. I got my car moved onto the street so the cleaning ladies don’t block me in the garage. I straightened up a few things DH messed up to make it easier on the cleaning ladies (whoa re late, as usual-). I took DH to the toilet 4x with no pee or poo :frowning:

I’ll see how he does at the bank and decide if a hair cut is in the works. They let him use the employee bathroom there, which is nice.

He doesn’t seem to hold a grudge as he gave me a couple of big smiles since I slapped him. I feel kinda bad, though. After all, he can’t exactly help it. This week with only one morning of help is dragging…

PS–It seems very indulgent to get the house cleaned after only 3 weeks :wink: Except for a bit of pee smell in the master bath, the house is clean enough for company…if I ever had company, other than visiting family/very close friends nowadays…).

CMFMints Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Home Fool Global Fool Motley Fool One Everlasting Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won’t see their posts anymore)
Number: 94277 of 94289
Subject: Re: Closing non-financial boards?
Date: 4/14/2022 10:01 AM
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Hi Y’all

This board is NOT closing, nor is any board in the Your Money column on the main board page ( ), including ones about Help with this Stupid Computer, Home/Car Ownership, Personal Finance and giving the Fool feedback. The boards in Your Life column are closing though for a myriad of reasons.

Denny is right on a few things…these boards are terribly out of date and new boards are in the works (where the search function works!) This board will be transitioned over to those when the time comes.

There will be plenty of places on the remaining boards to receive help on wiring an electric outlet (definitely part of home ownership) or rebooting a PC or Living Below Your Means or Retirement questions. Those will all still be around.


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asFINALLY got a clue and served him just 1/2 cup of coffee. SO far he hasn’t touched it anyhow :wink:

Last night he slept from about 7 to midnight, got up to pee–and I gave him a Depakote, then he slept till almost 6am! This is the result I hoped for when he started sleep medication, so now I think we can skip that :slight_smile:

DD and family arriving tomorrow for 6 days :slight_smile: Think I’ll postpone ramping up the Depakote to 3/day (what was prescribed) until after they leave, just in case. It took a couple days to adjust to 1/day and 2/day so I expect a rocky couple of days for the next adjustment, too.

I hope they won’t mind eating at 5pm insted of 6/6:30 as they’re used to. At least I need to feed the hubster before he gets too tired to put on pj bottoms and get into bed.

I finally got another clue and hand him his pj bottoms backwards. He plays with the strings/buttons/fly resulting in my taking him to the toilet unnecessary times. This way, nothing to play with. When he starts pulling his pj bottoms down in front, I take him to the toilet and usually results in success. Too bad I can;t do the same with his daytime jeans/shorts. He loves to play with the fly zippers, leaving me taking him to the toilet unnecessarily. Plus I really don’t want him playing with his fly in front of my grandchildren. At least they’re old enough to understand something about dementia now (they’re 11 and almost 9).

I have no idea where I might post what I’m dealing with and the workarounds and other tips to share re dementia. Especially a spouse with dementia as people with a parent with dementia have a much lower tolerance for dealing with problems themselves–pretty much as soon as serious difficulties crop up, the parent is either institutionalized or all-day aides hired. Often essential as adult children may still be working.

This board is where I vent. I’ve learned that friends and relations want to hear as little as possible. When they ask how the hubster’s doing, they want to hear “fine,” “better,” or at least “we’re doing OK,” not details. Will have to spend some time hunting for a new discussion group.


Oh! Pay attention, alstro! This board is not closing!?

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Haven’t had time to keep up with the boards for a bit—finishing packing our downstairs, and then the word actually began on Wednesday!! I’ve been completely swallowed up by it all.

So coming back now—and seeing this!! How can they do this?! Any sense when this change will take place? And what purpose is the read-only mode, if there is no ability to write anything?


Hi Sheila–

Step away for a couple of days and all [redacted] breaks loose around here. Fun stuff, isn’t it?

How can they do this?!

Well, it’s their boards. They can do what they want with it. We’re just the unpaid content creators. If they don’t want our content, we won’t give it to them for free.

However - this board isn’t going anywhere. It has been deemed by TMFthanos to be a “financial” board and will survive the upcoming snap of his bejeweled and gaunleted fingers.

Any sense when this change will take place?

Nope. I don’t think TMF knows, either. It’s just one step in a larger process.

That larger process has leaked out a bit and it is a fully revamped set of boards. Apparently, those have been in a small public test over on the paid side of TMF for a while. Step one is to reduce the number of boards that will be transferred over to the new boards. Step two will be to do the transfer by migrating all of the old posts from the surviving boards into the new software. So the fewer boards they have to transfer into the new software, the better for them.

Undoubtedly, step three will to turn the new boards loose on the world, and give us all the opportunity to find the bugs and problems that should have been discovered weeks ago.

And what purpose is the read-only mode, if there is no ability to write anything?

My guess is that this older board software will continue to be available, but in a read-only mode. That way all of the killed off boards are still there to read and refer to. Kind of a memorial grave yard of times gone by.