not Memorial Day-except for me

This was supposed to post on Memorial Day, but life interferes.
The day we Remember a lot of things and say Thanks for them.
my Pop was in the 2nd Armored and made it back uninjured. He taught me everything, SAE and USS bolts, how to run a lathe, how to paint a house, inside or out, put washers in a faucet, how to fish as well as to drive a boat-you know everything.
But getting old and emphysema slowed him down a lot. So, I mowed the lawn, drove them to the food store, made sure the snow got shoveled all the things he taught me. I was the last to leave the house when my brothers went to college out of state.
But once, when I was helping him back to his bed downstairs in the porch, he looked at me and with a hoarse whisper said, ‘take care of your Mother’. I was given an order to follow. Pop passed on a few months later. Mom and our back fence neighbor had called the ambulance, taken him to the hospital and pronounced him there.
You know the other things that went on, the same church, same funeral parlor, family grave site. The only other thing was the county coroner called the house to say she wanted to put the cause of death as a heart attack. I speak strongly when Angry and I gave her a lot of What For because he had a history of emphasema from 2 doctors and a hospital stay about emphysema and had No history of heart problems.
I made a lot of phone calls from Mom’s phone book, funeral, funeral home, my brothers drove or flew in and you know about that.

But now I had a new Duty ‘take care of your Mother’. I had a lot of help from Aunts, Cousins, people Mom knew from Church and Neighbors. My scheduling changed, every Friday I would drive to Mom’s house, we would go shopping and I would make a big pot of soup and freeze it in individual Tupperware. I have to thank Sr Alicia and Ellen who helped with wash, cleaning and keeping things neat. It’s good to have someone to talk to. Several things I never noticed were early signs of Dementia. She would always say’I hope he gets better soon’, she got annoyed at paying bills, the Frankin Bank (40 years of service) screwed with the type of account she had which had a lot of fees. So we got another bank, really across the street and I took my IBM laptop there to take over bill paying which was pretty easy from the new bank. Mom was doing ok but she started forgetting words and losing her balance. Alot of phone calls were made and sort of reluctantly we agreed to find a senior residence or retirement home for her.
Somewhere about this time TCoP was created. There were too many things I knew NOTHING about, or even what to ask. After some planning, research my brother and SIL came down with a list and appointments. We spent the entire weekend touring about with Mom so she could see the places. Yes, it took some doing to convince her to leave the house, so it took a lot of talking from me.
Mom chose St Francis, my second choice, but she could take the elevator downstairs and walk the long, enclosed walkway to go to the Chappel every day and have breakfast on the way back.
St Francis was real good, supervised, meals supplied, privet rooms with a bath, nurse on site.
Until Mom had a lot of falls usually with minor injuries. Mom went to 2 different places for rehab while I searched for a better place for her. I knew more about what to look for and what to ask and Care 1 seemed the best choice. Conversations, visits from cousins and family and we all agreed. Plus C1 had a separate locked wing for dementia residents. Mom was showing definite signs of dementia so she was moved downstairs.

So that’s the background and story how I became the Board Mother of TCoP. After Mom passed on, I became depressed and I think I posted about it but I just couldn’t post any more, well there were a lot of things I couldn’t do
For me Memorial Day is real funny. Are we honoring War? My parents met by Mom sending care packages to ‘the boys’ the Knights of Columbus and her big sister. This is a Civil War town, my house was built when Lincoln extended the Central RR from N to S and in a few years the population tripled. And it was only 50 miles from Mom’s house, a bit more for C1
It did break my heart to auction off the family furniture, a Wedding present from my Grandma, but I did my best to give stuff away to people who would Appreciate it, like Pop’s hard woods for carving, Noritaki China, but it still hurt to have all this Stuff hauled away.
Mom and Pop are gone, I have 1 Aunt still living and a lot of years later, I am recovering. I apologize for such a long post, but I do want to Thank All of You
for all your help when I needed it
jC-anuvaka

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What a long road you have traveled! And to hear you able to say now that “I am recovering”—it warms my heart.

=sheila

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