Not sure why you should be assuming she will reach the same conclusion as you.
Sorry if I wasn’t clear.
Whether she goes through with a competency petition or not, he is incompetent. The same conclusion to the situation. Legally he (currently) has the right to refuse whatever he wants. But from a practical standpoint, alstro has rights over him now. Getting a lawyer and making it official will cost money, and time, and result in the same outcome.
It’s not easy.
Agreed. I was fortunate I didn’t have to have 1poormom declared incompetent. I had family friends offering to testify if I had to go that route, but she was uncharacteristically cooperative.
1poorguy
Is Hubster having a moment of lucidity?
Not of late.
He seemed pleased to find DS & GF in the kitchen this morning, and seemed to enjoy dinner with DS, GF, Bro & aide tonight. He ate everything I served him–salad, meatloaf, sweet potato, green beans, and chocolate covered almonds. He was dozing after dinner so aide & I helped him to the bedroom and he got into his pjs. Then he watched me doing the dishes and went to bed with me. Sleeping ever since.
He was fine today other than the bloodwork refusal. He dressed this morning, undressed this evening, all with minimal help. Let me wash his pits & face. Brushed his teeth. Hung out.
I keep saying I’ll get him less medical care, but now he’s forcing the issue. I’m bothered by not checking his kidneys. And if the EEG would point to a medication to prevent seizures, that would be worth it, too.
In a facility they’d manhandle him and drug him enough to comply with a sponge bath & shave in bed. And then he’d be too wobbly to walk so he’d live in a wheelchair. I think he’s better off at home.
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DH pushes back, saying he is not OK with that. So I sit back and wonder just how much sooner than necessary I will have to kill myself to make sure I won’t miss that magical point where I no longer understand the ability to step in front of a moving bus. But I figure I will do it in a moment of lucidity.
That’s the trick. I have the same thoughts. 1poorlady would soldier-on through the drooling empty-stare phase if I allowed it. And at that point, she would have all the rights and I would have no choice. But how does one tell if they have simply elderly forgetfulness vs ALZ or some other dementia? And when would be the appropriate time to act? I have no idea.
Assisted suicide isn’t legal in AZ (last I knew), and probably not in your area either. Only a few states allow it. My first guess is that one would have to move to one of those states, and then have a lawyer draw up a document that the spouse could not supersede. I’m sure your DH, and 1poorlady, would not be happy with us if we did that.
As you said in the other post, very tough.
1pg
Is Hubster having a moment of lucidity?
…
Not of late.
He seemed pleased to find DS & GF in the kitchen this morning, and seemed to enjoy dinner with DS, GF, Bro & aide tonight. He ate everything I served him–salad, meatloaf, sweet potato, green beans, and chocolate covered almonds. He was dozing after dinner so aide & I helped him to the bedroom and he got into his pjs. Then he watched me doing the dishes and went to bed with me. Sleeping ever since.
Lol. Sounds like most married couples, other than the helping into PJs.
IP,
not expecting lucid moments to be extended in length
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