the price of forced compliance

The next day (yesterday) we tried again to get the hubster’s blood draw done. This time I brought DS with me.

Let’s just say it was a struggle. Even before we went, he wet himself while having trouble openeing his fly (first time). It was not easy getting him to let me take his pants, socks, and sneakers off (couldn;t manage the wet underpants). In the waiting room for the blood draw, he wetted himself again. After we got home we got him to change down to his underpants. I put Depends on him. Since then he has peed in the toilet every time, pulling down the Depends just enough to manage it.

A few years ago I bought some waterproof pads for sitting on for when my mother and brother ate dinner over at our house. Now I have one in DH’s recliner and one in the passenger seat in the car. I think I mentioned putting the larger one for use in bed under the bottom sheet on his side of the bed (if I put it on top, he would likely futz with and even remove it or use it as a tiny blanket on top of the covers.

He seemed, ummm, extra-demented yesterday, although he was good on a trek through Target (but he refused to get out of the car when we got home for 10 minutes or so–DS stayed with him while I pout away what we bought), but slept very well last night and was well behaved when awake before I wanted to get up. We’re just having coffee now. He’s smiling at me and is affectionate.

WHen DS & GF get up, I’ll fix French toast & bacon. Meanwhile the hubster is eating the leftover oatmeal & dates I saved from yesterday’s breakfast.

My son picked the perfect time to visit! This morning after visiting Mom, they’ll be haunting some thrift stores for bargains for their crafting and reselling business. They scored some good stuff in Florida last week (their 3-week trip is a combo vacay and work trip).

Of the factors tested, his sodium and BUN are high normal (and actually high according to optimal levels), CO2 slightly high, and potassium quite high according to anyone.

The kidney function test EGFR is 84, which I believe is very good for someone age 72.

Does this mean anything to any of us? Haven’t gotten comments on the test from the dr (yet). I doubt she sees anything alarming, though.

No shower (last one 3d ago), but he let me remove yesterday’s tee he wore to bed, wash his face & armpits, put on a fresh tee and pants over Depends. DS helped me wash his lower half after the second accident yesterday and he doesn’t smell, so OK (or maybe I have covid and lost my sense of smell?! nah…I cleaned up his bathroom pee miss and smelled it and the windex-).

He’s peeing every time in the toilet, if quite sloppily one time.

Eating well. DS & GF picked up BBQ takeout yesterday. Since he took a late afternoon nap and slept through our dinner, I fed him the plainest items when he came groggily to the table–beef hash over rice and finely chopped cole slaw. He had second helpings of both.

He slept well and we didn’t exist the bedroom till ~7:45 :slight_smile:

He had 2 breakfasts today–leftover oatmeal & dates from yesterday with his coffee and juice, and French toast & bacon with DS &GF a little later.

He & I split the leftover meatloaf, sweet potato, and green beans for lunch. He’s taking a post-lunch nap now.

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Of the factors tested, his sodium and BUN are high normal (and actually high according to optimal levels), CO2 slightly high, and potassium quite high according to anyone.

The kidney function test EGFR is 84,

I suspect his dr will want to bring his potassium down. And may ask you if he eats bananas regularly…and if he does, to cut them out for now.


He’s taking a post-lunch nap now.

What a pleasure that it was such a calm night, and now a calm day!


While it upsets his routine a bit (especially later dinners), DS & GF are his fave visitors–he really enjoys their company.

As for bananas–he’s eating them somewhat less often than he used to and fewer avocados as well (eating more soups and leftovers for lunch than salads w/avocado). The highish readings may be more a function of less drinking. Yesterday all he drank was a cup of coffee, a glass of OJ, a protein smoothie (w/banana to sweeten, but I drank 1/3 of the smoothie so he just had 2/3 banana), and one glass of water (maybe total in sips all day).

Haven’t heard from the dr about the results. So many seniors have serious kidney issues that his results probably seen minor, especially for someone who doesn;t drink much.

Today was Training Day.

I had my son bring the commode from the garage into the house–I put in the living room. It took a few tries and mishaps, but I got him to sit on it and pee in it just a few minutes ago.

Since he hasn’t showered since Monday (I have washed important spots with a washcloth a few times so he doesn’t smell), I had hoped to take him to the barber today, but…his walk didn’t go very well so I didn’t want to take a chance on another scene. I suppose going a week without a shower isn’t the end of the world, but I also feel like I’m toilet training a (giant-) toddler.

Basically you are training a toddler. I am very glad you decided to bring in the commode.
One success in him using it is very positive. Maybe next week he will be more open to going
to the barber for his hair wash.


Very glad you’ve brought in the commode! And it sounds as if its presence is helpful, if today’s experience is a reliable indicator.

And yes—you are toilet training a giant toddler. And he will get more and more toddleresque as his dementia progresses.

I’m so glad that DS and GF have been able to visit now. Wish they could do it more frequently, as hubster really seems to thrive on their presence. And it gives you a break in ways (althoough more work in others).