She is blind, and no longer is comfortable traveling. But we want to travel. We saved enough to be able to retire early, and now want to go.

So what to do with grandma? We can’t leave her by herself for more than a few days. We can pack food for her in containers that she can reheat as she likes. She can handle that. But if we’re gone for three or four weeks, she’ll run out (due to spoilage). She can’t cook. She can’t even tune her TV each morning (it’s a ROKU, and you have to scroll through the menus to select what you want).

Any ideas? I’m thinking a care home, though I’m not sure how to find one for short stays. I know how to find one if she’s moving in. But we would only need it for a few weeks at a time. Maximum of five, since that is the limit of 1poorkid’s vacation, and she’ll willingly look after her g-ma if we’re not there. But she wants/needs her few weeks of vacation, too.


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She can’t even tune her TV each morning (it’s a ROKU, and you have to scroll through the menus to select what you want).

It might not have enough flexibility to do the job without visual input (and it doesn’t solve your question) but you could see if the voice remote that ROKU offers helps her out.

Forgot the link.…

I’m thinking a care home, though I’m not sure how to find one for short stays.

That sounds ideal. I’d get in touch with the Phoenix Office of Aging, or whatever it’s called there. They should have a roster of such residences. I’d also try the local
Alzheimer’s Association chapter to see if they have a list of such facilities.


I found an assisted living place that could do respite care for my brother. I only did two weeks at once. They also would do daycare for him. It was a life saver when I had to care for him. So, ask the places you know if they do any respite care. I found this place through a placement broker. The only other options would be in home caregivers.


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When I went into the hospital we hired “home care - non-medial” support to help DW
in her morning routine and lunch preparation. A lady came out to the house and
provided living assistance for about 6 hours a day - basically until an hour or two
before our son could get back from his work.

Cost was quite a bit - but DW needed the help and I needed the surgery.


Forgot to add the cost - the agency charged $30 per hour. The lady left the agency and
charged $25 per hour. I suspect the charges will vary quite a bit by the area of the


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I’d hire a part-time daily aide, say, wake-up through lunchtime or lunchtime through dinner or bedtime. If afternoons, aide could fix breakfast casserole/quiche and portion for MIL to reheat for breakfast (or overnight oats). Or do similar for dinners. Aide helps as needed with bathing, dressing, taking a walk, appointments, making phone calls, managing the tv/radio/computer if MIL likes them. And update you daily. If there’s a restaurant MIL likes, she could be taken out for occasional meals or have takeout brought to her.

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You might want to hire an aide periodically even when you’re at home, for weekends away, long days away, and to accustom MIL to an aide.

I prefer private hire. Saves me money, pays aide a living wage, and I suspect ensures more loyalty. When my aides can’t come, they contact my other aides to see if coverage is available, but this is one area in which an agency might be superior. For example, my late afternoon and Sunday morning aide is going away for a long weekend. She came yesterday and I won’t see her again till Monday afternoon. So I asked the hospice nurse to make the hubster her last stop today to put him to bed for me. I’m having my alternate-Saturday aide come 10-4 instead of 9-1 so she can put him to bed (I’ll change him and give him breakfast in bed Saturday and she can put him to bed early. Sunday and Monday morning I’m on my own. I texted my hospice nurse to see if they could provide someone to cover any those times–waiting h=ti hear back.

Forgot to mention that an aide can do MIL’s laundry, shopping, and light housework.

Would it be great if you could hire a Phillipina aide? She could fix authentic foods that MIL would enjoy and perhaps be a better companion.

We just need someone to be sure she has meals. She can nuke food if she knows where to find it. But she can’t prepare it on her own. She has no issues with ADLs, at least not yet. Dressing, showering, etc. No problems.

For a long weekend we can leave her some containers in her private fridge, and she can pull them out as she needs. But for 10 days, someone is going to have to replenish her containers with new food.

1poorkid thinks maybe one of her friends could do it. We’ll see. She was good at taking care of the cat last year when we went to Hawaii. MIL wouldn’t be any more demanding than the cat. Help her tune her TV, and make sure she has food, and she’s good.

I still think tapping one of the church members is a good idea. After all, they claim they should take care of each other. But will they?? I’m kinda pushing that angle. We’ll see if 1poorlady actually asks someone. (I’m not part of the church, so I can’t really ask. I just don’t stop 1poorlady or MIL from going. It’s not my place to do that.)